How do you heal intimacy after past trauma or abuse?

Sexual abuse is one of the cruelest attacks the enemy launches against God's image in a person. It leaves deep scars in the soul and in the body. If you've suffered abuse in the past, your difficulty with intimacy is NOT a defect in you. It's not a lack of love for your spouse. It's a war wound. But God wants to heal that wound. The process needs three things: (1) Professional Christian therapy specialized in sexual trauma. (2) A patient, empathetic spouse who understands that "no" isn't personal rejection. (3) Inner-healing prayer with trained spiritual leaders. The bed can become a safe place again, but it has to be reconquered inch by inch, with love, patience, and the authority of Christ over every traumatic memory.

If you're the spouse carrying the trauma: share with your partner, as much as you can, what you need. "Sometimes I shut down. It's not about you. I need you, when that happens, to hold me without asking for more. And I need us to pray together." If you're the spouse of someone with trauma: say to them today: "I know there are wounds I can't imagine. I won't pressure you. I want this bed to be the safest place in your life. We'll find help together." Both of you: this week, look up a Christian therapist or inner-healing ministry and schedule a first appointment.

Father of comfort, we enter the deepest wound with fear and trembling. You heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds. Pour the oil of healing over traumatic memories. Break the power of every memory that paralyzes. Give my spouse supernatural patience and a protective love. Let the bed of this home be redeemed and declared holy ground, free from the ghosts of the past. In the name of Jesus, who has all authority over abuse and death. Amen.