Different Languages Of Grief: Grace To Respect

If there is one thing that can turn our living room into a silent war zone, it is the way we face pain. Imagine receiving devastating news; you break down in tears on the couch, while your spouse suddenly starts obsessively cleaning the kitchen or taking refuge in answering work emails.

It is very easy to fall into the trap of 'symmetric grief'. We start believing the lie that if our partner is not crying in the same way, with the same intensity, and on the same schedule as us, then they simply do not care. We think, 'How insensitive! Does it not hurt them what we are going through?'.

But the reality is that pain is like a fingerprint; no one processes it exactly the same. Some of us are verbal and emotional processors: we need to talk, cry our eyes out, and hug for a long time to release the pressure in our chests. It is our way of surviving the blow.