Maintenance · Apocalypse — Transcendence and Eternity
How do you win an unbelieving spouse without nagging?
How to Win an Unbelieving Spouse Without Nagging
Diagnosis
Have you noticed that the more you talk about Jesus, the further your spouse pulls away? Are your words building a wall instead of a bridge?
The Sword
1 Peter 3:1-2 · 1 Peter 3:15 (NIV)
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. (1 Peter 3:1-2) But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect. (1 Peter 3:15)
The Light
Peter gave the most counter-cultural strategy for evangelizing a spouse: shut up and live the Gospel. This doesn't mean you never talk about Jesus. It means the main sermon your spouse hears isn't the one on Sunday at church; it's the one from Monday to Saturday in your home. Does your faith make you more loving, more patient, more joyful, more serving? Or has it turned you into a judge with a Bible in hand? If your unbelieving spouse associates "Christianity" with "constant criticism," your mouth is closing the door Christ wants to open. The "pure and reverent" conduct of 1 Peter isn't only sexual purity; it's total integrity, genuine respect, and a peace that transcends circumstances. When your spouse asks you, "How can you be at peace with everything that's going on?"—then, and only then, are you authorized to give the reason for your hope.
The Pact
Take a painful self-inventory: How many times this week have you mentioned God, the church, or the Bible to your spouse, directly or indirectly (including sighs, disapproving looks, or passive-aggressive comments)? If it's more than once a day, declare a 21-day fast from religious talk. Don't mention anything spiritual unless your spouse asks directly. Use that energy to pray in secret and to serve them in tangible ways (cook their favorite meal, listen without interrupting, praise them in front of others).
Rescue prayer
Lord Jesus, I close my mouth and I open my life. Forgive me for every time I preached a sermon my conduct didn't back up. Forgive me for using Your Word as a hammer instead of as bread. I want to win my spouse without a word, through the silent power of a transformed life. Give me patience to wait, love to serve, and wisdom to speak only when You open the door. Amen.