Vulnerability: Why We Hide From Each Other

Have you ever noticed how quickly we become defensive when our spouse touches a sensitive nerve? Suddenly, the loving husband turns into a prickly porcupine, or the understanding wife raises a wall of ice and sarcasm. We aren't the only ones; in fact, it's the oldest trick in the book to keep others from seeing us as we really are.

It all started in that famous Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve sinned, their eyes were opened, they felt inadequate, and what did they do? They sewed fig leaves together and hid behind the bushes when they heard God approaching. That is the 'Adam and Eve complex' we are all born with: the natural inclination to hide our shame behind very real-looking disguises.

In our marriage, those 'fig leaves' are rarely literal plants. They usually look like biting sarcasm, a punishing silence that lasts for three days, or suddenly becoming a workaholic to avoid coming home to talk. Sometimes, our favorite armor is being constantly glued to our phones scrolling through screens, just to avoid making eye contact with our spouse.