The Wall Of Silence: Danger Of Hidden Sin

Imagine sitting on your couch watching a movie, but there is an invisible brick wall between you. You can hear each other's voices, you can pass the popcorn around the side, but you cannot look deeply into each other's eyes. That is exactly what a marriage feels like when one or both of you are keeping a secret. Emotional isolation always, without exception, begins with something we decide to keep quiet.

Sometimes we think that keeping a secret is a way to protect the marriage. We tell ourselves little white lies like, 'If I tell her what I spent on that credit card, she will get mad and we will fight,' or 'If I confess what I struggled with on my phone this week, it will break his heart.' We believe that silence gives us peace, but it is a false and very fragile peace.

That silence, instead of being a shield, becomes just another brick in the wall of isolation. Everything we cover up acts like a weight on our backs that exhausts us physically and drains us emotionally. Unresolved guilt puts us on the defensive, makes us irritable over silly things like a misplaced glass, and disconnects us from our partner because we are always spending energy making sure we do not get caught.