The Sponge Theory

Imagine the scene: you come home with zero energy, the kids are acting out, dinner is burned, the monthly bills don't add up, and suddenly, you snap at your spouse for leaving their shoes in the wrong place. You realize you were hurtful, take a deep breath, and drop the old reliable excuse: 'Honey, forgive me for talking to you like that. That wasn't me, I am just too stressed out today.'

We have all played the stress card in our marriage. It is the perfect scapegoat. It makes us feel less guilty because, in our minds, we manage to separate our behavior from our true character. We tell ourselves that our inside is kind and loving, and that the harsh word was just a biological accident caused by traffic or a bad boss.

Here enters the painful but revealing 'Sponge Theory.' Think of a kitchen sponge. If you take a sponge soaked in dirty, soapy water and squeeze it hard, what comes out? Dirty water. It is impossible to squeeze that sponge and expect fresh orange juice or a freshly brewed coffee to come out. It only releases the liquid it had already absorbed.