The Myth of the Soulmate

I remember the first time my wife and I had a serious argument over something as absurd as the correct way to squeeze the toothpaste. Suddenly, that Hollywood movie feeling where we heard violins playing in the background vanished. Many of us arrive at the altar believing the great modern lie of the 'soulmate', that romantic idea that we will find someone who will fit perfectly with us, without friction or disagreements, and who will magically complete us.

We are sold marriage as a consumer product where the promise is to find our 'other half', someone who never irritates us, who guesses our thoughts, and who is designed exclusively to make us happy. But what happens when you realize you married a real human being? When your wife is in a bad mood, when your husband leaves his clothes on the floor, or when you are both exhausted after work, the myth crashes head-on into reality.

This is where the apostle Paul, with a bluntness that hurts but heals, brings us down to earth in Romans 3:23. He reminds us that absolutely all of us have sinned and have flaws. In other words: you married an imperfect sinner, prone to selfishness, pride, and making mistakes, and guess what! Your spouse married someone exactly the same. When we expect perfection from a fallen human being, we turn our expectations into cruel demands that destroy our daily peace.