Surviving Autumn: Loving Through the Transitions

Imagine you are sitting comfortably on your living room couch, enjoying a beautiful summer day. Suddenly, someone opens all the windows and a gust of freeing wind blows away papers, knocks down family photos, and completely changes the atmosphere. That is exactly how autumn transitions feel in marriage. They are the winds of change that strip away the normality we worked so hard to build.

These winds go by many names: the arrival of the first baby (trading sleep for diapers), an unexpected job loss, a chronic illness diagnosis, the empty nest when kids move out, or even the natural hormonal changes of aging. Overnight, the rules of the game we knew are changed, and we find ourselves feeling completely disoriented.

The problem lies in how we react to that wind. Often, instead of bundling up together, we start blaming each other for the cold. We get frustrated because our spouse does not perform the same way, does not have the same energy, or is dealing with a level of stress we have never seen before. We forget that we were both pushed into the very same whirlwind.