Right to Fail and Ministry of Restoration

Picture this: your spouse has just made a massive mistake. Maybe they made a bad financial investment that left you both reeling, forgot to pay an important bill resulting in a penalty, or simply had an awful outburst of anger in front of the kids. In that microsecond, when you see their face full of frustration and shame, you hold enormous power in your hands. You can pull out the judge's gavel and start delivering emotional blows, or you can pull out the first-aid kit. Most of us, if we are honest, have the phrase 'I told you so' loaded on the tip of our tongues, ready to fire.

But Paul throws a bucket of cold water on us in Galatians. He calls us to have a 'ministry of restoration,' not an execution court. In our home, we must completely eradicate the culture of condemnation. There is a massive difference between the loving conviction the Holy Spirit brings (which makes you want to ask for forgiveness and change) and the condemnation the enemy throws (which makes you feel like garbage and paralyzes you). When we crush our spouse for their mistakes, we are doing the enemy's job, not God's.

A healthy marriage, in the real and everyday sense, should be the biggest safety net that exists for both of you. Your husband or wife should have 'the right to fail.' I do not mean celebrating sin or reckless irresponsibility, but knowing that if they try to start a business and fail, or if they struggle with a recurring character flaw, they will not be met at home with a look of contempt. Home should be the place where wounds are gently cleaned, not where extra salt is poured on them.