Radical Security For Real Intimacy

Imagine your marriage being like walking around the house in your underwear. Physically and emotionally. Sounds liberating, right? But the reality is that most of us are terrified of being completely 'naked' emotionally in front of our spouse, because we have areas we prefer to keep in the dark.

The root problem is the fear of rejection. The greatest destroyer of true closeness in a couple is not the lack of time or the lack of money, but the voice in our head that says: 'If he really knew this about me, he would leave me' or 'If she saw my true failures, she would lose respect for me'.

When the love in a relationship is conditional—meaning, when we feel we are loved only for what we do well or how much we provide—we put on incredible superhero masks. We hide our struggles with anxiety, our financial fears, or those temptations that embarrass us. We simply do not want to be discarded.