Home Hierarchy: Putting Marriage Before the Children

It happens to almost all of us: the first baby arrives home and, suddenly, the compass of our world goes crazy. What used to be a romance for two, with dinner dates and time to talk, becomes a pediatric emergency room overnight. Diapers, bottles, and midnight fevers completely hijack our energy and attention.

Without realizing it, we cross a very dangerous line: we go from being husbands and wives and lovers, to simply being 'mom' and 'dad' or efficient 'co-parents.' We start organizing our lives, our budget, and our few hours of sleep exclusively around the children. And while this seems like a heroic and selfless act, we are actually building a ticking time bomb for our family's future.

This is the main reason why so many couples divorce after twenty years of marriage, right when the last child leaves for college. Left alone in the house, they look across the dining room table at each other and realize they have nothing in common. They invested all their love and effort into parenting, but starved their marital relationship. They ended up living with a stranger!