Attack The Problem, Not Your Spouse

We have all done it. We start arguing about who left the wet towel on the bed, and five minutes later, we are questioning our spouse's entire work ethic and character.

What started as a minor logistical friction quickly turns into a character assassination. It is so easy to cross the line from 'it bothers me what you did' to 'you are a total disaster'.

Experts warn us that this is the fastest way to destroy intimacy. When we attack our partner's identity, their reptilian brain lights up; they no longer hear our need, they only hear that they must defend themselves from a predator.